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| And Now:PARTY DOG!!!
OOH WAH AH AH AH! | | |
| Breakdown Of Drunken Twittering.Recently I went to a friends birthday party and proceeded to get drunker than i've been in a very long time. I ended staying up ALL night, way past everyone else, and documented most of the night with various tweets at different times. Some make sense, and others don't. It all eventually led up to my startling revelation that my hero, Billy Mays, had passed away. Let's start at the beginning.
This is early on, where i've probably only had a beer or so. Pretty much nothing going on yet, i just quoted a funny line I remembered from The Hangover.
By rape drinks, i mean mixed drinks where the mixer to alcohol proportion is way off kilter, resulting in a firery drink that ends with some fruity aftertaste. However, I was still together enough to spell correctly.
This was a few hours later, and clearly I was building up to the apex of my drunkeness. I have a vague idea that I was trying to call someone, but why and how, and what exactly "gone" means is utterly confusing to me now.
This is the height of the night. I don't remember AT ALL what I was trying to say here. I'm still fucking mystified as to what the fuck this could possibly mean.
I only know what this means, because it's something i've done in the past. Nearly everytime I get wasted, I always end up texting or tweeting the phrase "I'm in china". It's a tradition i've started since one night I passed out while watching conan, and he was talking about china I think. I checked my twitter the next day, and laughed my ass off. I've continued doing this ever since, and in a way, "I'm in china" is just code for "I'm fucked up beyond all reason right now".
First, look at the time difference between the last tweet, and this one. I have no idea what happened in those 4-5 hours. I could have killed someone. No fucking clue. Other than that though, its clear that this is the climax of my drunkeness.
This is self explanatory.
By this point, every comfy seat, every couch and every bed was taken in the house. The bed I was supposed to sleep in was taken by some folks who passed out and I didn't have the heart to kick them out. Since the heat was so thick, I ended up laying outside, on the deck, on the dog bed, which was the last soft thing in the house. It was not the highest moment in my life, but it is damn hilarious.
After getting 30 minutes of sleep on a dog bed,I decided I was above that shit, and found a table chair to fit my head under, and used a small blanket as a cushion, while I thought about the missing hours of my night. One thought came to me, about how I announced one of my secret failsafe-fuck-it-all life plans, should I decide to abandon everything and everyone I care about. Basically, I just copy the plot of the show "Breaking Bad", in it's entirety, only without a bitchy pregnant wife to stifle me.
At this point, I was sobering up, and also becoming hung over. Also, every bump and bruise I hadn't been feeling, was now being felt. My body was slowly starting to ache horribly all over, and I still had goddamn nowhere to fuckin' lay down.
I think I started listening to The Who. Maybe. I have no other explanation for this one.
Self explanatory.
Again, self explanatory. Only i'd wake up a few hours later, to discover that Billy Mays did not wake up that morning. Which led to...
The whole goddamn weekend was pretty epic, and contrasting with how shitty the next day was, really made my life seem like some kind of fucked up Brett Easton Ellis novel, if only for 48 hours.
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| Requiescat In Pace.An American Hero.
R.I.P. | | |
| For Anyone Who Hadn't Figured It Out Yet:I was/am Grampasta.
Some of my better pieces of writing are on there, go check 'em out. | | |
| An Oldie: AN OBJECTIVE ANALYSIS OF "THE JOY LUCK CLUB" BY AMY TAN. (Special Edition)
The baby in the story represents truth, as opposed to the starkly contrasting nature of the stories in the book, each own persons truth becomes distorted. The baby, when drowned, represents the symbolism of truth "dying" at the hands of the woman, and thus the muddling of stories that occur.
When she,(the main character, not the baby) finds herself fighting her sister for the demons tablet, the tablet represents power, and dominance. Since we all know demon tablets lead to nothing but danger and trouble, we can assume the tablet in this story represents all the problems the girls in the book face, and their ensuing struggle over the tablet, represents the interior conflict raging inside each one of them. When the Dragon ( see page 177) attacks the city, we know this dragon represents the greif felt by the women, thus the making of the Joy Luck club, to defeat the evil dragon (E.G. their grief and problems).
When Xiang uses her shadow meld ability on the dragon, this obviosly entails the "coming of age" she must deal with, when fighting her own personal demons. After the ninjas attack pearl harbor however, the book takes a sweeping turn, and instead switches narrative to the men of the story, which solely focuses on being a badass chinese pirate, and kicking lots of ass.There is no symbolism in that part of the book, because pirates are too bad ass to be "symbolic".
Near the tail end of the book, when the massive dinosaurs attack the island the Joy Luck club has made, and disrupt the kung fu practice of Jiang-wong ( see page 344). Jiang-wong, as a character who loves morals and all kinds of wacky asian voodoo crap, he obviously represents mysticism, and stuff. WHen jiang-wong or whatever kills the evil mutant dinosaurs this represents the holocaust in germany in 1940 uhhh something. I dont remember the year but i know it was forty something.
Anyways, when the dinosaurs get killed by jiang-wong, its similar to the holocaust in that Hitler killed jews, and then made up lies about it. Jiang jing chinky guy, makes up lies to the Joy Luck club, because he wants to secretly clone the dinosaurs and use them to take over Japan. This is clearly represented by Marxism, and i needn't explain it to you because it is very obvious.
At the end, when Jiang-Wong and the Joy luck club fight to the death at the Jade temple, its very similar to the lightsaber duel at the end of "Return of the jedi, Directed by George Lucas", because it was super bad ass and kung fu is sick. Although I am sure Luke Skywalker could totally ruin Jiang-Wongs shit if they fought. But when Luke and Jiang fight at the end, and then the dinosaur clone eats Luke, this represents something that happened that was very similar to my uncle Jim.
Me and my Uncle and my dad would go fishing during the summer, i caught this fish, it was fucking huge, we cooked it and ate it for dinner that was bad ass. My total ownage of that fish is similar to how Luke owned jiang. Oh yeah! the Joy luck club got killed by a dinosaur too, or something...i think maybe they got crushed by a star destroyer or something. In the end when they all dance and have the orgy at Jabbas jade temple, it describes an image of a pheonix, in a bush...which represents life or some shit like that.
In conclusion, the book the Joy Luck Club is pretty cool, but not as cool as Star wars. | | |
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