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"YOU ARE COMPLETELY RIGHT. I had sex with a pregnant chick yesterday and her baby boy got pregnant with twins. the twins then had sex inside the first baby causing one of the twins to have quadruplets. the quadruplets all had an orgy and two of them are now pregnant with octuplets. This chick is going to be a mother in 9 weeks, grandmother in 9 months, a great-grandmother in 10 month, and a great-great grandmother in 11 months. The best part is that she's only 19. By the way, the only thing wrong with this form of baby birth is that now all the children will come out with webbed toes,wings, and huge sexual organs."
- Santa Claus

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Name: Adam
State: California
Gender: Male


Interests: Movies, TV, Comics, Games and anything shiny with lots of buttons. Also, ghouls.
Expertise: Braining alligators with mussel rakes.
Occupation: None currently.
Industry: Hows that?


Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
AIM: God Eats Bagels


Member Since: 10/31/2003
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Till Lindemann is God
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Dorothys boobs.
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Zombies...
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FckYOUalligator
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Fuck you, you fucking fuck.
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The Samurai Clan
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ELVIS DIDN'T DO NO DRUGS!!!
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Karl Pilkington Is God
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Sunday, December 06, 2009

Currently
Road
By Nick Cave, Warren Ellis
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Sometimes I Instant Message People And It Gets Weird When They Don't Respond.

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*GASP*
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Saturday, December 05, 2009

Currently
Deadlands: Hell On Earth (PEG6000)
By Shane Lacy Hensley
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Why I Like Kittens And Boobs.

BECAUSE THEY'RE BOTH AWESOME AND GREAT TO NUZZLE!



Friday, December 04, 2009

Currently
The Very Best of the Doors [US Version]
By The Doors
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Why I Am An Athiest.

BECAUSE IT'S 2009, AND I AM A RATIONAL FUCKING HUMAN BEING WHO REFUSES TO BELIEVE IN FAIRY TALES, AND HAS FOUND A MATURE, ADULT WAY TO DEAL WITH MY OWN MORTALITY.


Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Currently
The Prisoner (Miniseries)
By James Caviezel, Ian McKellen
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A Wha... What?!

Sometime in the 6 day long haze of my intense battle with Swine Flu, during which most of the time I wasn't properly lucid for any time longer than 3 hours. At some point I must have written this down, and it utterly baffles me, and makes me wonder what the fuck was I thinking/doing?

"larry david had sex with redheaded girl who had a history of dating assholes, but ends up having a three way with red headed curly haired dude, who is "next in line" for her, and they both end up fucking her, and its very awekward when they accidentally touch dicks

I mean... what the fuck?!


Monday, November 09, 2009

Currently
Animals
By Pink Floyd
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Richard Kelly Is A Damn Insane Genius

So I saw The Box. Which isn't a movie about Cameron Diaz's bloody vagina, despite what the title and the big red streak on the poster would have you think. It's actually one of the better sci-fi movies i've seen in a while for 2 main reasons.

#1, the first act is the best adaptation of a Richard Matheson story i've ever seen.

#2, like (almost)all of Richard Kellys' movies, it's goddamn batshit insane and fucking awesome.

First off, the original story by Richard Matheson is fairly simple, but most are familiar with the version that was re-written for The 80's Twilight Zone. In it, the story goes: Couples door bell rings, eerie man walks in, shows them a button. Says if they press it, they get a buncha cash, but someone "whom they don't know", will die. They deliberate for a while, and press it. The man comes back the next day, gives them the cash, and they ask him what happens next. He says " The button will be re-programmed, and given to someone, "Who doesn't know you." Which is pretty chilling, and implies heavily that the person killed is the last person who pushed the button. In the original Matheson story, the woman pushes the button, and her husband dies the next day in an accident, and the insurance money is what she collects. When the man retrieves the button, he tells her that "She never really knew her husband". Which is much more insanely fucked up, but not so twilight zoney.

Anyhow, the movie takes the Twilight Zone approach, for the entire first act, with some character development, and then takes a HARD LEFT into fucking INSANEVILLE and becomes wildly hard to predict exactly what the fuck is going on, or what is actually happening. In a lot of respects, it's very similar to Southland Tales, in that shit happens, and you're left to decide what it means for yourself. Granted this is a much more coherent movie than Southland Tales, and a much tighter film overall, it's still nothing like anything out right now, and despite being an adaptation, fiercely original. Plus the whole thing is shot like an old fashioned episode of The Twilight Zone, with Kubrickian cinematography so accurate you'd swear they got the DP from The Shining.

Overall, I could lay out the entirety of the plot for you, but the moment Mr. Steward gives the couple the money, takes the box/button, and tells them it will be reprogrammed and given to "Someone who they don't know." (different phrasing, but same ominous meaning), the movie ramps up into goddamn crazyville. There's a lot of internet sites and viral marketing for the movie, including some .PDF documents you download that seem to be schematics for the Box, that are seen breifly in the movie. Like with Donnie Darko or Southland Tales, the internet supplementals help understand the movie more, and in this case, actually hint at large chunks of the movie that were filmed, but cut due to length. If you hated Donnie Darko, (which I don't blame you, all that 80's shit was bogging up a good time travel story), I highly recommend you watch Southland Tales and see The Box. Richard Kelly is an exciting new director who really is building up a lineup of films that reflect similar themes, and each one will make you think, for better or for worse. I have a feeling all of his movies will be love it or hate it films, that are very polarizing, and it's guys like that who SHOULD be making movies, and we should support that kind of filmmaking instead of the schlock thats churned out nearly every weekend by most other hacks.



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